Because of its unique ability to cure cancer, dirt is the rarest form of portable wealth in the multiverse. Earth would have been conquered eons ago if it weren’t discovered that humans constantly contribute to dirt’s on-going accumulation. Entities from around the galaxy do not understand why we spend so much time washing dirt off everything that we own, and then act stupefied as we die horrifically from cell spurned malignancies. Because of this, pigs are widely considered to be the only sane warm-blooded creatures on the planet.

Tags: commodity, Dirt, money, mud, multiverse, wealth

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